Are You Resilient?

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Are You Resilient?

Resilience is the ability to maintain stable, healthy levels of psychological and physical functioning in the face of loss or high stress from disruptive events. It is more common than often believed and is a skill that can be learned - even at an early age.

Resilience is often confused with recovery in which normal functioning stops for several months and then slowly returns to the pre-event level. When you are resilient, you may experience several weeks of restless sleep or preoccupation with the problem. Then you move to positive emotions. It is like a tennis ball that bounces back.

Life can throw you a curve. It may not be the way you expect it to be. Instead, life is the way it is. When you find yourself in a stressful situation, there are three key questions to ask yourself:

1. What opportunities are there in this situation?

2. What helpful resources do I have within and around me?

3. How can I use these resources to develop an identified opportunity?

Your thoughts and beliefs lead to your feelings. If you believe there is something threatening about the future, you will feel worried or anxious. Thoughts of loss can also lead to sad feelings. If you believe your rights have been violated, you will feel angry. The more negative you are the lower your resilience will be.

Positive emotions and laughter help reduce stress levels by counteracting negative emotions. In addition, positive emotions such as gratitude, interest in others, and love attract people. The increased contact with and support from important people in your life helps build resilience.

You might think of this as "hardiness." Research indicates that "hardiness" buffers exposure to extreme stress. Three dimensions that contribute to "hardiness" are:

1. Being committed to finding meaning in your life by choosing to find ways to include your top three values in your daily life.

2. Believing you can influence your surroundings and the outcome of events - having self-confidence.

3. Believing you can learn and grow from both positive and negative experiences - avoiding becoming a victim.

To be resilient during stressful times, it is important to be realistically optimistic. The challenge for you is to do your best to:

- Stay in the present (not past or future).

- Be as specific about the situation (not generalize it or jump to assumptions) as you can be.

- Choose specific behaviors to help you move forward.

What choices are you making to be resilient and keep your resolve? The way you choose to cope with what cannot be changed makes the difference in how resilient you can be. It is possible to live an engaging and meaningful life even if it is not possible to be extremely happy at the moment. Look for ways to start your day well, and choose to be optimistic about its outcome. Find things to be grateful for. With time you will regain your momentum and feel good about who you are.

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More About Maurine Patten:
Maurine Patten, Ed.D. CMC, Positive Psychology to the Rescue Mailto: mdpcoach@pattencoaching.com To find more articles and information about how to be resilient and live a meaningful life, go to: www.pattencoaching.com

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